It is not an easy decision to get married; it involves many things that are crucial for us. It is not only about the wedding dress or decorations, but both of you also need to think far beyond that. As a married couple, you are going to share a life and a future together.
You are going to be responsible for yourselves as well as your children. So, there are things you should consider before you decide to spend your lives together.
Here is a list of 15 questions you should ask before getting married:
1. What things do you love about me?
That passionate, romantic love makes us fall for the differences that our partner has. For instance, having distinct social lives, ditching responsibilities in the sake of mental health, different hobbies, sleep schedules, tastes in music, etc., may seem fun at the beginning, but furthermore in life, may turn very bad.
2. If we one day, we both have no jobs, how are we going to get through?
Asking what kind of financial resources you would have if you are both jobless is an excellent question. It is going to reveal you more about your partner’s behavior about finance. It is scary enough to even think about having no income, so asking this question and knowing what kind of plan you have makes it easier.
3. How do you like living with me?
Living as roommates instead of as lovers is not a good thing, and it usually ends up by losing the relationship’s spark. However, getting along as roommates is important, but still not enough. You need to have a good sleeping schedule that suits both of you.
You need to learn how to solve cleaning problems, who is going to be responsible for paying the bills etc.
4. What do you think about having children?
Since this is a subject that many people have a different view on, it is important to know your partner’s point of view. You should ask whether your partner wants children and how many of them. Also, you should consider options if it turns out for you not to be able to have them.
You need to know where you stand on this kind of questions because marriage is a commitment.
5. How would you manage to be a full-time parent, if I am a full-time professional?
It is good to know your partner’s view about the full-time parent role. In fact, there is not a proper answer, but it is good for both of you to know where you stand concerning this issue.
6. When you achieve what you desire, can you fight for new dreams?
To passionately love someone is amazing, but not enough. In order to have a successful life is essential to set goals, pursue dreams, and create new dreams. Even though you cannot get a clear answer; it is good to know where your partner stands.
7. What is the most insane way to make love in which you can imagine yourself?
This is an important question to find out how comfortable you feel like a couple discussing intimate things. If you are unable to discuss intimate stuff with your partner while you are in a relationship, it may be a problem when you get married. It is good to open with your partner if you want a good marriage.
8. How should we divide our home chores?
When you get married, even though you had no issues before, there may be changes, for instance, when a baby comes into the family, or one of the partners changes a job. There may be conflict but is important to know how to solve them. You need to have good communication and care for each other’s feelings.
9. What would you choose, if you had only one spiritual need to be fulfilled?
Knowing your partner’s spiritual needs is essential. But, do not think that going to church is the only way you can satisfy your spiritual needs. For instance, playing video games may be a spiritual need. And, it is not easy to know all of your partner’s spiritual needs, but it is good to have a conversation about it.
10. What do you need to feel comfortable in your life?
Asking this question will let you know about the thing that can make your partner happy. So, if your partner needs, for instance, an hour per day to spend reading, you should be okay with it.
11. Are you okay with my closeness with other people?
Many people possess different styles of flirting, emotional intimacy, communication with colleagues, etc. Even though your partner does not have close friends, it does not mean they cannot flirt with someone outside their circle.
So, both of you need to have your eyes wide open about your behaviors. You need to figure out what are you okay with, and what are the things you do not like your partner to do.
12. What do you think about religion?
As a married couple in future, you need to know what your views on religions are. For instance, you need to know which holidays you will celebrate as a family. Also, you need to ask your partner what would happen if you become more or less religious than you already are.
13. Where would like to live?
Since people nowadays tend to move around the world, you need to have a conversation with your partner about where would they like to live. Also, is your partner okay if you need to move frequently.
14. How important is it my physical appearance?
If you get to the marriage point, you have probably seen yourself in every possible way. But, what would happen if there are some bigger changes such as gaining a lot of weight, making a total change in your style, etc.? It would be good if you have an open conversation on this topic although it may be a little hard.
15. Which parents may cause us problems in future?
Since parents possess a special power over us, we need to talk about them. It may happen for some of our parents does not like our partner, but even though that can be solved, you need to be open with your partner. You should consider what kind of challenges you may face when your families combine.
All in all, having a good marriage is not an easy task, but honesty as well as asking the right questions may help a lot.
Thanks for reading!